NOT LONG AGO..

Not long ago
I first knew what heartbrteak was
And soon after that my heart was shattered again
Bravely I tried to put it back together
Pretended like everything was fine
Pretended like I was strong
But what you don't know is
Every now and then
My heart will be sliced into a thousand pieces
My tears will stream freely down
And I still say that I am fine
With a smile on my face
In the hopes that those words will come true
Sometime in the near future
In the hopes that someday
My heart can stop hurting
And I'll finally be able to accept everything
In the hopes that someday
I'll be truly happy again

BEGINING AND ENDING

If one is to begin the other has to end

But is the other's end at one's fault

What if both one and the other continue on

Will there be enough for both

Or will one be left with dashed hope

Maybe the other will also have a new beginning

At least the other can still smile in the end

And one is utterly content with the new beginning

DREAM IN THE DARKNESS

Breath tapering thin

Amidst echoes of heartbeat

Holding onto the darkness

Behind closed lids

Imagination running wild

Transcending boundaries of time

Fighting a battle of hope

Praying for peace

Daring to believe

Dreams do come true

PINK..!!

So, today I'm wearing all pink.. Again.. For the second time this week.. Huhu.. Pink is such a good colour for a picker-upper.. I don't know exactly when my affinity with anything and everything pink started, but now I'm kinda surrounded with many shades of pink almost all the time. HoweverI am NOT obsessed with it and is currently very consciuosly trying not to be so attracted or influenced by it.

My outfit today.. I just finished talking to Yang which kinda explains the huge smile on my face.. Been so long since we've talked right? Miss you!! Oh, and the outfit is actually a present from Ama; it's my pengapit costume.. I love the cut and the colour.. Thanks Ama..

My phones.. My old ones..

My netbook.. I was actually hoping for a red one, but since it was a gift you can't exactly be demanding.. (Dunno why the pic turned out like this.. Soorry..)

My dancing shoes.. Bought these in Langkawi.. Love them to bits..

My cute little purse.. Notice the chain with Junsu's name.. (Thank Ayang!!)..

My tumblers.. One is for workout (amidst the pink bag and pink towelette) and the other for office (who're the cuties peeking out? Oh, it's TVXQ!!)..


My office.. Actually my walls are light magenta but people always thinks its pink.. The softboard IS covered with pink wallpaper..

My umbrellas.. I love the square LAMAN umbrella.. (Again sorry for the pic misorientation)..

My pillows.. Love the black and pink heart shaped Princess one..

And my newest pink addition.. Worked very hard to put it together because the darn screws were just too tough.. I even slept for a while to regain strength before finishing up.. LOL..

HUDA'S BIRTHDAY AND... KURSUS KAHWIN??

Huda's 24th birthday was exactly the same day that I had.. Wait for it.. A whole day of meeting at the Shang-ri La hotel.. (Yeays half-heartedly).. Thankfully, the meeting ended earlier than the planned 7pm (Yeays!!) so it was kinda fated that Huda would find me walking slowly home because my heels were definitely killing me. We got back together and to our surprise Nenek was there!!

Abah suggested we go celebrate somewhere near and after some begging from Huda, Ayang also agreed to join in on the fun. She came right as we were leaving for.. Wait for it.. BORA OMBAK!! It's been a while since we dined there, the ambience is totally purrty and we get to sit in this hut, cross-legged in semi darkness. Dini also joined but sadly Zaim had to leave for college earlier that day so he was MIA. Miss you, Adik!

There were lots of waiting around, which lead to many pictures being taken to pass the time. I think mine was the.. Wait for it.. Last one to reach the table.. Heheh.. I ordered Australian Striploin (not a good choice) and Cofee Toffee Delight (which lived up to its name). After we've gobbled up all the deeeeliciuos food, it was time to give Huda her birthday card. Look at us trying to pose out her reading it.. Hee..

And just because, both me and Huda attended our ... Wait for it.. Kursus Kahwin that weekend. The topics discussed were quite general but because we sat right at the front and center, it was kinda hard not to focus on what the ustaz was imparting. And I got a first-hand view of what Huda becomes in class. A total geek. LOL.. She kept writing down stuff and referring to the book provided while I would just calmly sit back and listen. The ladies outnumber the men, but not by a big margin since most of the participants came in couples. The course was organized by Huda's workplace and so I got to see her office and even met some of her co-workers. Yeay me!!

So, Huda has survived another year. Next year she'll be half-of-a-decade or quarter-of-a-century. May she continue to spread love and happiness with that effervescent personality she has. Although I really do hope she cuts down on the aegyo, it gets annoying after a while.. Stay healthy and may Allah bless you forever and always.

TODAY IS 30TH AUGUST 2010

It's been ages since I last wrote on Arashi and since today is my JUN's birthday, I thought "Why not..?" I've also kinda been neglecting the Dorky Rainbow Stormy Boys because it's been just a whirl of Kdramas lately. Imagine, I'm watching Baker's King Kim Tak Gu (Yoon Si Yoon!!!), Cloud Staircase (Shin Dong Wook!!!), My Girlfriend is a Gumiho (Lee Seung Gi!!!) and lastly, from today onwards, Sungkyungkwan Scandal (Yoochun!!!).. That takes up a lot of a girls' time.. And it does help that there is not really many activities on the TVXQ front.. Not that I'm overly happy about that.. I'll be even happier if the boys DID have some activity.. I might just a little bit pressed for time and maybe my sleep time will be severely jeapordised.. Oh, and I also have an exam next month, and have yet to study for it. So I'm starting to freak out and may focus on that for the next weeks.

Anyway, back to the original post, which is to celebrate the day that is 30th of August 2010. Why is today so special you ask?

1. Refer to the first line.. It's JUN'S BIRTHDAY!!!! My Jun! Last night Husna and I went and got ourselves Secret Recipe cakes. So , I celebrated the Jun's 27th year with a cheezy choc cake and caramel machiatto. Can I just say that the cheezy choc was just pure YUM, just writing about it makes me wanna go get another one now! So, dear Matsumoto Jun. You with the strong facial features and mood swings that put all your members on their toes. You who thought of the moving stage for your concerts and the nasally voice. But I still love you and your perfectionism even if you do fail magnanimously some of the time. I wish you'll be better in VS Arashi and not be the MDA anymore. I'm looking forward for NatsuNiji and can't wait to see you play a Domyouji-esque role again after a while. May Arashi continue to rise and wishing you all the happiness in life. Thank you for being the rock that keeps Aiba and Sho in line. Keep loving Ohno and making mischief with Nino. All the best to all of you. Thank you for brightening up my days during my dark TVXQ-less period.. You guys are superb! Muah!! Hmm, I think I've said all I wanted to say, so on to the second point...

2. Today marks exactly one year that I've landed in Korea. It's kinda surreal to think that since then, I've been there one more time and will be going again in November.. Crazy.. I think I've one more trip for next year (yes, with you, Illi..) Also, I'm also hoping that I can get to go to Jeju Island.For the time being, I'm perfectly contented just wandering about Seoul. It definitely is one of my favourite cities now. A shout out for my SEOUL Sisters, can't wait for November for us to retrace our steps and create new memories (borrowing Ayang's words...)

3. And as mentioned before, Yoochun's new drama will start airing on KBS today. I've mentioned this in my previous post, but it co-stars the cutey pie Yoo Ah In and the ever adorable Song Joong Ki.. I think all teenage kdrama fans will be stuck to the TV the entire hour. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the ala A.N.Jell and semi F4 setup. The storyline has been done a gazillion times, a girl disguising as a boy and took her brother's place and then enter the three cool guys that rule the school. But I don't really mind. You know why? Because I'm not watching it for the story..! Ahaha..! I'm looking forward for Yoochun's performance and since he was the most promising actor from the five boys, I think he'll carry it off really well.

4. This might seem like a bit funny but the fourth reason is because tomorrow is Malaysia's 53rd Independence anniversary. Which means that tomorrow is a holiday! Yeay! More time for me to catch up.. No need to wake up early in the morning and drive half an hour, bleary eyed to office.. Hee hee.. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY MALAYSIA!! Please continue to prosper and no more increase in oil prices again OK? Thanks for the bonus BTW. I really needed that.. Don't really have much more to say on this because I've already said my piece last year.. Hee~

OK! I've finished ranting! I mostly just rambled in this post.. But.. That's the way I like it.. Aha aha..
Peace out till the next post..

THANKFUL...

I am officially 27 today.. And I won't be who I am, where I am today without my LOVED ones.. So, I'm writing this as a thank you to them.. May our relationship stay strong and beautiful with Allah's blessings..

First of all to MY FAMILY.. Truthfully, I'm always amazed and thankful for our family.. Although we may not be the RICHEST but I think we most definitely are one of the HAPPIEST family. And also the most LOVING. The thought of losing even one of you brings an unimaginable ache to my heart. The times we spent just lazing around, I really cherish that. I'll find myself looking around wondering where we'll be in the next 5 years. Although we may not be together in the same place, all of you will always be with me in spirit. Each of you are an amazing source of strength and courage for me. We went through a lot, and I bet we'll face more obstacles in the years ahead. But I know we will pull together. And come out laughing in the end. That's the beauty of our family. That we are able to accept each as they are. And just enjoy each other's company anytime and anywhere. I might not be the best sister or daughter, for that I apologize. Just know that even if I don't show it, I love you, always and forever.

Next are my DEAR FRIENDS. Truthfully, you have taught me soo much about life. I have the good luck of being surrounded by an amazingly gorgeous group of people. Humble, kind, and wise. And most importantly, one who appreciates a good laugh and have a healthy sense of humor. For old friends, even if we haven't seen each other in years, know that you have made an impact in my life. From you, I learnt the meaning of loyalty and what it takes to really stand up for your friends. I learnt how to be more caring and show concern towards others. Friends, you come in many shapes and sizes, each with your own story to tell. Thank you for sharing those stories with me. I'll try harder to keep in touch and please know that our friendship means the world to me.

Not forgetting MY TEACHERS. I have been blessed with good teachers. And when I say teachers not only the ones at school and university but EVERYBODY in my life. All of you are my teachers. Guiding me through life with your lessons. I am deeply grateful for your words and am looking forward for more in the future.

Last but not least, I want to thank ALLAH. Though this might seem kinda insignificant but I still want to thank HIM beacuse without His blessings, I never would've had the privilege of being around such beautiful persons. He gave me the gift of life and not only that, filled it with wonderful people to color my life. Truly, I sometimes feel somewhat guilty of asking for more in life when He had given me soo much and I had so little to give Him. It just felt like greed.

I think I've said what I wanted to say. I'm happy where I am now and hope to be so if not more for the coming years. Amiin~

ps: Happy 2nd birthday for my blog.. Saengil chuka hae blog sshi..!

EUROPE CONQUEST PART 1

My trip to Europe and UK was the most amazing trip I had taken. And it was actually the first time I had to take a plane all alone to a whole different country. Needless to say, I was in a constant state of uncertainty throughout the 12 hour flight. Hopefully this will not be my last time in that part of the world. Although the weather needs a bit taking used to, the time I spent was well worthed.

I joined the "Conquest of Europe" organized by Kelana Convoy. As most of my new friends would agree, KC provided cheap budget travels, affordable for the Malaysian students living in the UK and also from other parts of the world. There were even Singaporeans, a family from Brunei and a group of Malaysian students studying in the US who joined. Me and other 140 participants traveled to 8 countries in just 15 days. Just as a summary, from London we travelled to the Netherlands, passing through Belgium. Then we went to Germany for a night. Next was Austria and and then we moved further down to Italy where we stopped by Vatican City.We spent about 4 nights there and then climbed up the Swiss Alps in Switzerland before heading to our final destination, Paris. I went to meet Illi in Manchester and spent some time in there before both of us traveled to London. There we met Illi's friends; Alin and Sue. So initially there were four of us in our little group but Alin had swollen feet and had to go back after Venice. We also met a few new great friends and a whole lot of good friends. We spent most of the nights in cabins (you have to pay extra for those) but we had to sleep in a tent in Austria and Frankfurt. It was definitely a challenge putting up a tent in the freezing cold rain. The group separated in London where I caught up with Mama and Abah for a day. They sent me to Manchester where I said goodbye to Illi and flew home. If I go on and recount the days in order, I think that will be one mighty lengthy post. So, I'm just going to break the highlights down country by country. So here's Part 1:

UNITED KINGDOM (UK)

Manchester

Since Illi was my partner-in-crime for this trip, naturally I booked a flight to Manchester instead of to London. When I arrived, Illi took me around town and also to her lab (Yeay!). She even brought me to the Old Trafford because it would be kinda sad to be in Manchester and not go Man U's place. Sadly both of us forgot our cameras and I didn't really feel like going to the museum so we ended up shopping there for my brothers and also a few friends.

London

As fate would have it, Mama and Abah arrived in London on the very same day that my trip ended so we get to spend one day together before I head dome. Yeay!! We had breakfast at the Malaysia Hall (where I met some of my new friends, again!).. The parental unit had nasi lemak and I opted for roti canai and hot Milo. Yummies.. We went to Trafalgar Square sans pigeons. And then got in line for about one hour to get in Madam Tussaud's. Unfortunately Shahrukh's wax was just transferred to France, so I only managed to get pictures with Zac Effron, Johny Depp and a bunch of others too. LOVE!

BELGIUM

The KC group actually didn't make a stop and just passed through Belgium, after we got off the ferry in Dover, Paris on our way to the Netherlands. And where else for our brief stop than at a chocolate factory!! Belgian chocolates are so.. like.. sedap.. I brought some chocolates (like DUH!!) and a lollipop. None of us were permitted to go to the back of the building though, to see how the chocolate was made.

NETHERLANDS

Our first night in Uitdam was cold and wet. And it definitely didn't help that our cabin was on the other side of the camp so we had to walk all the way from one side to the other for our food. The next day we took pictures at the Dike and also went to a cheese and clog factory, where we saw demonstrations on how to make.. erm.. cheese and clog.. I LOVE the picture of me in the giant yellow clog, I look so cute! Haha.. Also, Illi went completely crazy for the sheeps nearby the place and insisted to have picture with them. And being in the Netherlands, we just had had HAD to take pictures with a real life windmill. Even though it was drizzling, hence the umbrella. Just a note, Illi's umbrella will make several appearnaces in the pictures as it would be raining or the sun would beat on us profusely during the few days of the trip.

Volendam

Volendam is a beautiful and picturesque little town, located next to a pier. The flowers were crazy beautiful. We went to a shop where they took pictures of us in groups wearing Dutch costumes. Totally cute, but I look kinda clumpy.. And it was also kinda adorable that the cameragirls were like ,"Duduk.. Kanan.. Kiri.." because as you may know, some Malay words are taken from Dutch. And then all of us got together and had fried seafood (calamari, prawns, fish) which was not-so-cheap.. Heh..

Amsterdam

We were only given 3 hours to spend in Amsterdam, the first of which was kinda wasted (IMO) when we took the canal cruise. But we do get to see almost all of Amsterdam, a few boathouses, the Nemo and also get to take cover inside the boat while it was raining outside. Right after the cruise we found I amsterdam and stopped by Hard Rock Cafe. I squealed so hard when I saw a Fitness First sign when we were in a tram going to HRC. Didn't get to see the actual gym though. I also didn't get to go see the Red Light District though because we were running out of time and I needed to buy magnets. They were surprisingly cheaper there.

GERMANY

Frankfurt

Frankfurt is the largest financial center in Europe and is home to several several large commercial banks. We took a picture with the huge Euro sign in the middle of the city. And right in front of us where old architectural buildings still erect opposite new futuristic skyscrapers. Then, we went to Romer, with the most picturesque town square when it started to rain. I fell in love with an I love Germany shirt there, which will be the first of many shirts I end up buying this whole trip. There was one teddy bear shop, not unlike the one I went to in Korea, which was a bit like whoaa.. We walked along the Frankfurt Am Main the river and saw a few cruise ships and took picture on the bridge before deciding to go back.

Fussen

The Neuschwanstein castle was said to be Mr. Disney's source of inspiration for the Sleeping Beauty castle. We took a horse ride going up to the mountain-perched castle (I get to take picture with cute little Daniel!!) and walked to the bridge of Marionbrucke for a better view of the castle. And it was soo totally worthed. The view was amazing, not only of the castle but the surrounding nature was breathtaking. Kak Erin had a little problem with heights and kept asking me not to jump around on the bridge.. LOL..We walked down to the bus, stopping by the clear blue lake for pictures.

AUSTRIA

Inssbruck

Austria is the headquarters of the Swarovski crystals, where crystal clear uhm.. crystals were on display and sale. We oohed and aahed at the crystals but the ladies eventually swarmed the sale area. I only bought myself a box of crystals and then we walked around town. We saw the famous Golden Roof where the royalties sit to enjoy the tournaments in the square below. Sadly, I don't think I took a picture with the famous roof because we were kinda distracted with a silver statue right in the middle of the square. On our way to the bus, we passed through a park with a huge tree. I couldn't resist the opportunity to not take a picture with it. Then, we went to see the ski-jumping Winter Olympic stadium in Bergisel and took pictures with the famous 5 rings.

So there you have it, the first part of my Europe trip. Phew. Need to go and work on the second part now.. Ciao!